Is Your Relationship Emotionally Abusive? 6 Sure Signs
The signs of physical abuse in a relationship are hard to miss. They aren’t always easy to talk about or deal with, especially when you truly care about your partner. But they’re more difficult to ignore, and often more obvious to others, too.
Emotional abuse, however, isn’t always as easy to spot. You might be so used to it that you think it’s a normal part of a relationship. Or, you might be too nervous to admit that you’re being abused.
Unfortunately, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as its physical counterpart. Sometimes, even more so. Physical wounds heal, but emotional scars can last for years.
Emotional abusers are all different, and they all use various techniques to control and manipulate their partners. But there are some common signs of emotional abuse to be aware of. Let’s cover a few of them, so you can determine if you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship.
1. Your Partner is Dismissive
Everyone wants to feel seen, heard, and validated in a relationship. While disagreements are normal, it’s not normal (or okay) for your partner to routinely dismiss your thoughts, feelings, and opinions without discussion.
If you’ve grown to feel like you don’t have a voice in your relationship because your partner disregards everything you feel and say, that’s abuse. It’s a form of them trying to control the relationship – and you.
2. They Talk Down to You
Perhaps the only thing worse than being dismissed is being talked down to.
Successful relationships are about two people working together as partners. If you’re in a relationship where someone talks down to you and treats you like a child, that isn’t healthy. Again, it shows that they want full control and power, and they want you to be submissive to their every demand.
3. Extreme Jealousy
Does your partner get upset or jealous whenever you go out with your friends or family? Do they question where you went and everything you did after spending only a few hours away from them?
Extreme jealousy or possessiveness is another form of emotional abuse. When your partner feels like they’re not in control, even for a short time, they can use their anger to make you feel guilty about doing things you enjoy or spending time with others. They might even badmouth your friends/family, isolating and encouraging you not to spend time with them.
4. Shaming You In Front of Others
Maybe your partner doesn’t discourage you from going out with people, but they insist on going with you.
Do you dread when that happens?
If so, ask yourself why. Do they embarrass you or shame you in front of your friends or loved ones? Emotional abusers often have no problem insulting or demeaning their partners, regardless of who is present. That can be embarrassing and traumatizing for you. It’s also a telling red flag that it may be time to get out of the relationship.
5. Intimidating or Threatening You
Maybe your partner has never laid a hand on you but you live in constant fear that they will.
Even if emotional abusers don’t get physical, they can make frightening threats about hurting you and use those threats to intimidate you. Maybe they raise their voice, destroy belongings in your home, or even threaten you with weapons. Even if they never have any intention of physical harm, instilling that kind of fear in someone can be traumatizing.
6. They Control Everything
Does your partner control the finances in your house? Do they prevent you from making decisions about your life, including choices about work, school, and who you spend time with?
Emotional abusers are all about control. Often, they're so insecure, control is the only thing that helps them feel secure. But they can never have enough control. And the more control they have, the weaker you’re likely to feel.
No one deserves to experience abuse of any kind. If any of these signs of emotional abuse sound familiar, understand you’re not alone. You don’t have to remain in this relationship. You deserve to find freedom and peace.
Chanderbhan Psychological Services
About: Chanderbhan Psychological Services is a therapy practice located in Laredo, Texas. We help individuals and couples who are struggling in different areas of their lives gain the clarity they need to grow and change. We also offer video counseling services to individuals located in the wider State of Texas. To read blogs on mental health and relationships, visit our website.