Feeling “Less Than” or ” Not Enough”? How to Overcome Inadequacy & Value Yourself
You’ve probably heard the saying that you are your own worst enemy. Unfortunately, that rings true for many people. Do you ever find yourself thinking that you’re “not enough”? Or, maybe that you’re less than some standard you’ve set for yourself?Those thoughts manifest themselves in different ways. Maybe you think you’re not a good enough spouse, or you’re less than a perfect employee and that’s why you didn’t get that promotion.Unfortunately, judging ourselves has become common practice. If you find yourself doing it more often than not, you aren’t valuing yourself the way you should.So, what can you do to overcome inadequacy and realize that you are enough?
Look at Your Values
The first step is simply to pause. Hit the brakes on your thoughts and banish the negative self-talk, even if it’s only for a moment.Use that time to think about your values and take a closer look at your life. Who are you, really? Who do you want to be? Are your actions in life aligned with those desires? If not, why? More importantly, how can you change that?Often, people judge themselves because they aren’t living the way they truly want to live and don’t realize it. By really considering who you want to be and the importance of your values, you can start to take small steps toward those personal goals. Small changes make it easier to align yourself with your values without feeling overwhelmed.
When You’re Doing Your Best
Maybe you already feel like you’re doing your best every day and your life is aligned with your values.Then, it becomes a question of self-compassion.The former is not exactly invasive method. http://greyandgrey.com/media/ order cheap levitraThink about how you treat your best friend or most beloved family member. Now, think about how you treat yourself. If you aren’t offering yourself the same kindness and compassion as that person, there’s a problem.You’re running your own race, not someone else’s. Don’t compare yourself to the successes of others and then cut yourself down. Instead, be compassionate and focus on your own path. You are exactly who you are meant to be, so choose to be kind to yourself.
Understand Your Purpose
One of the best ways to stop feeling like you’re not enough is to realize that you matter in this life. You have a purpose and you have contributions you make on a daily basis. That may not be easy to realize right now, but it should be where your focus shifts.Maybe your purpose is to be a great parent or to provide a listening, supportive ear to a friend. It could be to make a difference in your community or do something great at work.The way you value yourself doesn’t have to be based on some large, over-the-top action to fulfill an expectation. Rather, it should be a matter of understanding who you really are and loving yourself for exactly that. The lessons you learned as a child about accepting yourself and feeling special for who you are? They’re just as important to remember as an adult.If you're having trouble recognizing your contributions on a daily basis, consider engaging in positive data logging. At the end of each day, take a minute to write down 2-3 things that you're proud of yourself for doing or that you felt good about yourself for doing. Engaging in this will help you become more intentional and aware of what you value and where your contributions are.If you’re truly doing your best and your values are aligned with the way you’re living, it’s time to put more value in yourself. Granted, that can sometimes be easier said than done. If it’s something you’re struggling with and you truly feel like your own worst enemy, reach out to a therapist to help you work through your feelings of low self-worth. A trained therapist can help you dive deeper into why you might feel that way. What makes you feel “less than”? From there, you can start to work on more ways that will help you overcome inadequacy and value yourself for who you really are without having to make extreme changes in your life.
About: Chanderbhan Psychological Services is a therapy practice located in Laredo, Texas. We help individuals and couples who are struggling in different areas of their lives gain the clarity they need to grow and change. We also offer video counseling services to individuals located in the wider State of Texas. To read blogs on mental health and relationships, visit our website.