How to NOT Overthink Dating
Dating can be a lot of fun, but it can also be overwhelming. From dating apps and social media to reading cues from the person you’re with, there’s a lot to think about when you enter the dating world.
Unfortunately, thinking too much can do more harm than good. You might end up talking yourself out of a great relationship or even second-guessing yourself so much that you damage your confidence.
So, what can you do to not overthink dating?
1. Consider Why You’re Overthinking
If you’re overthinking, there’s a reason. Maybe you’ve been in harmful relationships in the past that have you on guard now. Or, maybe your expectations are unrealistic. When you take the time to explore why you’re overthinking and whether it comes from a place of needing to control things, you’re more likely to be aware of those thoughts and how damaging they can be.
2. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a useful way to combat anxiety, but it can also be used to stop overthinking. You might not be able to control the thoughts that enter your mind. But you can control how you react to them.
If you find yourself starting to overthink your dating life, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Stay in the present moment, and let thoughts pass you by like clouds. With just a few minutes of mindfulness, you can let go of those overwhelming thoughts and stay rooted in the moment.
If you’re on a date and find yourself overthinking what’s happening, you can still use mindfulness techniques. Remind yourself to come back to the present moment, to focus on what ‘s happening immediately around you. The more you practice noticing your overthinking and stepping back from it into the present moment, the easier it will become for you to stay grounded in the present moment.
3. Start a Journal
If you’re overthinking about your relationship or dating life, it could be because you don’t have a healthy outlet. Consider talking to someone you trust. Or, start a journal that allows you to get your thoughts out whenever it’s convenient for you.
Having a simple outlet like that can keep your thoughts from getting jumbled or completely taking over your mind. Once you “get them out,” you’re likely to be less distracted and overwhelmed.
4. Discover Who You Are
If you’re currently in a relationship or dating someone regularly, your overthinking might stem from worrying about that relationship.
It’s not healthy for one person or a partnership to completely take hold of your thoughts. Take the time to step back and discover who you really are on your own. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to stop dating. However, by starting a new hobby or taking part in things you enjoy, you’ll strike a better balance in your relationship, and you’ll be less likely to focus on it all the time.
5. Manage Your Expectations
Overthinking can often stem from unrealistic expectations. If you’re dating someone and they don’t live up to the hype you’ve created in your mind, you could end up dwelling on it.
While it’s good to have standards, they need to be realistic. Did your date really do something wrong, or were your expectations already setting them up for failure?
6. Find the Source of Your Fear
Overthinking can make you feel like you’re more in control of a situation, even when you’re not. When you’re focused on every possible outcome, you might feel a sense of power, but the overthinking is coming from a place of uncertainty and anxiety and it ultimately takes away from your ability to enjoy your life.
If that’s the case, it’s important to find the source of that uncertainty. It could be from a poor past relationship, or it could stem from childhood. If you’re worried that your overthinking is taking a toll on your mental well-being, consider talking to a therapist. Working with a therapist can help you get clarity about dating and relationships so you can begin to approach dating with a more positive mindset.
Chanderbhan Psychological Services
About: Chanderbhan Psychological Services is a therapy practice located in Laredo, Texas. We help individuals and couples who are struggling in different areas of their lives gain the clarity they need to grow and change. We also offer telehealth to individuals located in the wider State of Texas. To read blogs on mental health and relationships, visit our website.
